Why is Your Website Not Ranking High on Search Engines?

An In-Depth and Slightly Sarcastic Guide for Beginners in Tech

So, you’ve built a website. Maybe you even used a sleek WordPress theme, installed all the right plugins, and even asked your cousin who “knows tech stuff” for help. You proudly typed your website name into Google… and then crickets. It’s not on page one. It’s not on page two. Heck, it’s hiding somewhere around page 17 next to a conspiracy blog and a MySpace profile.

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If that’s you, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) isn’t some magical unicorn that automatically lands you on top of Google. It’s more like a needy houseplant. If you don’t nourish it properly, it fades into irrelevance.

Quick confession: When I launched my first website in 2015, I was so proud I told my mom to “just Google it.” She called me an hour later saying, “Sweetheart, I think Google lost your site.” Ouch.

Let’s break down, with a healthy dose of humor and insight, why your website isn’t ranking—and more importantly, what you can do to fix it.

You’re Not Speaking Google’s Love Language: Keywords

Imagine you’re on a dating app, and you write your bio in Morse code. That’s kind of what it’s like when your website lacks proper keywords. Google’s algorithms are smart, but they’re not mind readers (yet).

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

Using jargon your target audience doesn’t search for.
Not doing keyword research at all (or just guessing).
Stuffing keywords like a turkey on Thanksgiving.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Use tools like Google Keyword Planner, Ubersuggest, or AnswerThePublic.
Use long-tail keywords like “best hiking boots for flat feet” instead of just “shoes.”
Naturally weave keywords into your content—no need to sound like a robot trying to sell shoes… shoes for walking… shoes for feet… shoes in general.

I once wrote a blog post titled “My Thoughts on Innovation.” Guess what? No one googles “thoughts on innovation.” After retitling it to “Top Innovation Trends in 2025 (That Will Blow Your Mind),” the traffic started flowing like cold brew at a hipster café.

Want to go deeper? Check out my step-by-step guide on How to Advertise a Website—it shows how to connect keywords with real promotion.

Your Content Is as Thin as a Hollywood Diet

Google loves content, but it loves quality content even more. If your page has 150 words and 100 of them are “Buy now,” you’re basically waving a red flag in Google’s face.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

Pages with barely any text.
Copy-pasting content from other sites (Google has read it already, thanks).
Writing fluff with no real value.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Write comprehensive, original content that actually answers questions.
Aim for at least 800–1200 words per post/page.
Use headers, bullet points, images, and internal links for better readability.

I once tried to rank with a page that had five sentences. I now refer to that page as “The Great Invisible.” Google didn’t even sneeze in its direction.

Think of your website like a conversation. If you walked into a coffee shop, sat across from someone, and only said “Buy now” five times… they’d leave. Google’s no different.

Learn how to write deeper posts by reading What is a Database? (And Why You Should Care).

You Ignored Technical SEO (Like Ignoring Oil Changes in Your Car)

You can have the best content on the planet, but if Google’s crawlers can’t access or understand your site properly, it’s like putting Shakespeare in a locked box.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

No XML sitemap.
Poor internal linking structure.
Broken links and crawl errors.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Use Google Search Console to check for crawl errors.
Generate and submit an XML sitemap (plugins like Yoast or Rank Math can help).
Make sure your important pages are linked internally.

When I finally fixed my broken links and sitemap issues, my site started ranking like it had just taken an SEO multivitamin. Don’t underestimate backend hygiene.

Your Website Is Slower Than a Snail on a Sleep Strike

Speed is not just for caffeine junkies. Google uses page speed as a ranking factor, and if your site takes longer than 3 seconds to load, most users bounce faster than you can say “hold on, it’s loading…”

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

Huge, unoptimized images.
A clunky theme full of bloated code.
Too many unnecessary plugins.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Compress images with TinyPNG or Smush.
Use caching plugins like WP Rocket or W3 Total Cache.
Test with Google PageSpeed Insights or GTmetrix.

After I optimized one of my sites, bounce rate dropped by 30%. Turns out people enjoy being able to see your site before their lunch break ends.

Your Mobile Experience is… Let’s Just Say: Yikes

Google now uses mobile-first indexing. If your site looks like a pixelated mess on a phone, you’re in trouble.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

Not using a mobile-responsive theme.
Text too small, buttons too tiny.
Annoying pop-ups covering the screen.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Use a responsive WordPress theme like Astra or GeneratePress.
Test with Google’s Mobile-Friendly Test.
Make sure it looks good on all devices.

I lost a client once because they couldn’t even find the contact form on mobile. That was the day I joined the Church of Mobile Optimization.

If you’re still struggling, my Guide to Cloud Hosting covers hosting choices that improve mobile speed.

You’ve Forgotten About Backlinks (Also Known as Street Cred)

Backlinks are like online recommendations. The more reputable sites link to you, the more Google trusts you.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Guest post on blogs in your niche.
Get listed in directories and podcasts.
Create share-worthy content like infographics or guides.

One quality backlink from a respected blog did more for me than 20 spammy links. Google likes influencers, not internet randos.

Learn backlink strategies from Moz’s Beginner’s Guide to SEO.

You’re Not Updating Content (Google Likes Fresh Coffee, Not Stale Bread)

Old, untouched content = SEO cobwebs.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Revisit old posts quarterly.
Update stats, links, and headlines.
Republish with fresh info.

Updating one post from 2019 gave me a 300% traffic boost in a week. Google loves a little maintenance.

You’re Not Using Structured Data (AKA Schema Markup)

Schema markup tells Google what your content is (recipe, review, FAQ, article).

Fix It Like a Pro:

Use Rank Math or Yoast SEO to add schema.
Validate with Google’s Rich Results Test.

Adding FAQ schema gave me expandable Q&A links in search. Translation: more visibility without extra work.

You’re Not Blogging (AKA Content is Queen)

Static sites get stale. Blogging = fresh SEO snacks for Google.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Start a blog and post weekly/bi-weekly.
Answer real questions your audience asks.
Link blog posts to your core services.

Blogging consistently doubled my traffic in 3 months. Simple but powerful.

See my full guide on What is Facebook Ads and How to Use It—a great example of how to promote your blog content.

You’re Ignoring Meta Descriptions and Title Tags

This is your first impression in search results.

Fix It Like a Pro:

Write unique, keyword-rich titles.
Add compelling meta descriptions.
Keep within character limits.

Changing a title from “Home” to “Affordable Web Design for Small Businesses in Lagos” instantly boosted my local ranking. Titles matter.

Final Thoughts: SEO Is a Journey, Not a Lightning Bolt

Look, ranking high doesn’t happen overnight. It takes effort, patience, and the occasional sarcastic laugh when things go wrong.

Even the big guys started invisible. The trick is to keep tweaking, testing, and posting—Google rewards persistence.

Still feeling lost? Drop me a comment and tell me which part of SEO feels like rocket science—I promise to answer without sounding like an over-caffeinated robot.