Why is Your Website Not Ranking High on Search Engines?

An In-Depth and Slightly Sarcastic Guide for Beginners in Tech

So, you’ve built a website. Maybe you even used a sleek WordPress theme, installed all the right plugins, and even asked your cousin who “knows tech stuff” for help. You proudly typed your website name into Google… and then crickets. It’s not on page one. It’s not on page two. Heck, it’s hiding somewhere around page 17 next to a conspiracy blog and a MySpace profile.

If that’s you, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) isn’t some magical unicorn that automatically lands you on top of Google. It’s more like a needy houseplant. If you don’t nourish it properly, it fades into irrelevance.

Let’s break down, with a healthy dose of humor and insight, why your website isn’t ranking—and more importantly, what you can do to fix it.

You’re Not Speaking Google’s Love Language: Keywords

Imagine you’re on a dating app, and you write your bio in Morse code. That’s kind of what it’s like when your website lacks proper keywords. Google’s algorithms are smart, but they’re not mind readers (yet).

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Using jargon your target audience doesn’t search for.
• Not doing keyword research at all (or guessing what people might type).
• Stuffing keywords like a turkey on Thanksgiving.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Use tools like Google Keyword Planner, Ubersuggest, or AnswerThePublic to find what people are actually searching for.
• Use long-tail keywords like “best hiking boots for flat feet” instead of “shoes.”
• Naturally weave keywords into your content—no need to sound like a robot trying to sell shoes… shoes for walking… shoes for feet… shoes in general.

Personal Insight:
I once wrote a blog post titled “My Thoughts on Innovation.” Guess what? No one googles “thoughts on innovation.” After retitling it to “Top Innovation Trends in 2025 (That Will Blow Your Mind),” the traffic started flowing like cold brew at a hipster café.

Your Content Is as Thin as a Hollywood Diet

Google loves content, but it loves quality content even more. If your page has 150 words and 100 of them are “Buy now,” you’re basically waving a red flag in Google’s face.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Pages with barely any text.
• Duplicate content from other sites (Google has read it already, thanks).
• Writing fluff with no real value.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Write comprehensive, original content that answers actual questions.
• Aim for at least 800–1200 words per post/page (and make them count).
• Use headers, bullet points, images, and internal links for better readability.

Personal Insight:
I once tried to rank with a page that had five sentences. I now refer to that page as “The Great Invisible.” Google didn’t even sneeze in its direction.

You Ignored Technical SEO (Like Ignoring Oil Changes in Your Car)

You can have the best content on the planet, but if Google’s crawlers can’t access or understand your site properly, it’s like putting Shakespeare in a locked box and throwing away the key.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• No XML sitemap.
• Poor internal linking structure.
• Broken links and crawl errors.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Use Google Search Console to check for crawl errors.
• Generate and submit an XML sitemap (there are plugins for that).
• Make sure all your important pages are linked internally.

Personal Insight:
When I finally fixed my broken links and sitemap issues, my site started ranking like it had just taken an SEO multivitamin. Don’t underestimate the power of backend hygiene.

Your Website Is Slower Than a Snail on a Sleep Strike

Speed is not just for caffeine junkies. Google now uses page load speed as a factor when determining search rankings. If your site takes longer than 3 seconds to load, 50% of users will bounce faster than you can say “hold on, it’s loading…”

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Using huge, unoptimized images.
• A clunky theme full of bloated code.
• Too many unnecessary plugins running wild.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Compress images with tools like TinyPNG or Smush.
• Use caching plugins like WP Rocket or W3 Total Cache.
• Test your speed with Google PageSpeed Insights or GTmetrix and actually follow the recommendations.

Personal Insight:
After I optimized one of my sites, the bounce rate dropped by 30%. Turns out people enjoy being able to see your site before their lunch break ends.

Your Mobile Experience is… Let’s Just Say: “Yikes”

Google moved to mobile-first indexing. That means if your site looks like a pixelated mess on a phone, Google will treat it like one.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Not using a mobile-responsive theme.
• Text too small to read, buttons too tiny to tap.
• Pop-ups that take over the screen like an overenthusiastic sales rep.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Use a responsive WordPress theme (like Astra, GeneratePress, or Hello).
• Test your site on Google’s Mobile-Friendly Test tool.
• Make sure it looks and functions well on all devices—not just the one you’re using.

Personal Insight:
I lost a client once because they checked my website from their phone and couldn’t even find the contact form. That was the day I joined the Church of Mobile Optimization.

You’ve Forgotten About Backlinks (Also Known as Street Cred)

Backlinks are like recommendations. The more reputable websites that link to your site, the more trust you earn from Google.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Zero backlink-building strategy.
• Getting backlinks from shady sites.
• Focusing only on quantity instead of quality.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Contribute guest articles to well-established blogs within your industry.
• Get listed on business directories, podcasts, or interviews.
• Create share-worthy content like infographics, guides, or stats.

Personal Insight:
One quality backlink from a respected blog in my niche did more for my traffic than 20 links from spammy directories. Google likes influencers, not internet randos.

You’re Not Updating Content (Google Likes Fresh Coffee, Not Stale Bread)

Search engines love fresh, updated content. If you wrote a blog post in 2017 and haven’t touched it since, Google might think you’ve retired or moved to a cabin in the woods.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Letting old posts gather digital dust.
• Not updating outdated stats or links.
• Forgetting to repurpose old gems.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Revisit old posts quarterly.
• Update with new insights, media, and links.
• Republish them with a current date if the changes are significant.

Personal Insight:
After updating a post from 2019 with current info and a new headline, traffic spiked 300% in a week. Moral: Google appreciates a little maintenance.

You’re Not Using Structured Data (AKA Schema Markup: Nerdy but Powerful)

This one sounds technical because it is—but bear with me. Structured data helps Google understand the type of content you have. Is it a recipe? A review? A product? Give Google the labels it needs.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Relying solely on plain text with no schema.
• Missing out on rich snippets in search results.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Use plugins like Rank Math or Yoast SEO to add schema easily.
• Validate your pages with Google’s Rich Results Test.
• Mark up content types like FAQs, reviews, recipes, and articles.

Personal Insight:
When I added FAQ schema to a post, my result suddenly got expandable Q&A links on Google. I didn’t just rank higher—I took up more real estate. Talk about showing off.

You’re Not Blogging (AKA Content is Queen… And She’s Judging You)

Static pages are fine, but if you’re not actively publishing content, Google assumes your site is a digital ghost town.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• No blog or content strategy.
• Only product pages and no educational or value-driven content.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Start a blog and post regularly (weekly or bi-weekly works).
• Focus on answering your audience’s burning questions.
• Use blog content to internally link to your core product or service pages.

Personal Insight:
Once I started blogging consistently, organic traffic more than doubled in three months. It’s like feeding Google little SEO snacks every week.

You’re Ignoring Meta Descriptions and Title Tags (Don’t Be Shy, Introduce Yourself)

This is the first thing users will see when your page appears in search results. If yours are bland, missing, or duplicated, you’re not exactly wooing the algorithm.

What You Might Be Doing Wrong:

• Leaving the title and meta description fields blank.
• Writing them like a robot with commitment issues.
• Using the same ones across multiple pages.

Fix It Like a Pro:

• Make each title tag unique, compelling, and keyword-rich.
• Write meta descriptions like a mini ad—entice the click!
• Keep them within recommended lengths (60 chars for title, 155–160 for meta).

Personal Insight:
Changing just one title tag from “Home” to “Affordable Web Design for Small Businesses in Lagos” gave me an instant lift in local search. Titles matter, folks.

Final Thoughts: SEO Is a Journey, Not a Lightning Bolt

Look, ranking high on search engines doesn’t happen overnight. It takes consistent effort, regular optimization, and a good sense of humor when things don’t go your way. Google is like a picky roommate—it notices everything and takes forever to warm up.

But if you focus on quality content, technical health, user experience, and smart keyword strategy, your website will start climbing. And before you know it, you’ll be sipping coffee while watching your traffic grow like a proud parent at a school play.

And remember: if Google doesn’t love you today, there’s always tomorrow—and a new blog post.

Still feeling lost? Let me know which part of SEO you want more help with—and yes, even beginners can master this stuff (with a little sass and strategy).

Sure! Here’s a compelling SEO-optimized title and meta description for your blog post: